Online social networking is like eating potato chips: most people CAN'T eat just one. Some people eat so many that the real nutrition that comes from talking and meeting with people face to face escapes them. But for introverts, at least as I have found, this can be deadly. We can fall victim to --- social attention distraction.
How much is too much?

Do you have a profile on Twitter? FaceBook? LinkedIn? Another of several hundred that you DON'T want to admit to? (I fess up - I just accepted invitations to two more this last month. Yikes! What's an introvert to do?)

The popularity of social networking sites such as FaceBook, MySpace, Twitter, LinkedIn, and Classmates.com more than quadrupled from 2005 to 2009. But still … with cell phones, laptops, the Internet, actually only 23% of adults think they personally spend too much time using the Internet, computers and mobile communications devices.

Time on it's own is not the one way, too much or too little. Allow the context of how you spend that time help you decide if it's too much. Yes; you can meet new people, and reconnect with former friends. You can find prospect clients. You can even communicate easily, in a way that gives you time to respond, the introvert's preference. Still, some of the use of it is, too much.
Recently when I was reading my FaceBook newsfeed I noticed one of my connections that had a status update that garnered 20 or more comments.

I thought, "Wow, I wonder what they are talking about?" Usually most newsfeed comments have 3 or 4 comments so this sparked my natural curiosity.

Even though the topic wasn't of great interest, "Go look!" I encouraged myself. I took a peek. It turns out to be – a conversation between just two people making arrangements to meet at a local restaurant!

"Are their telephones working?" I thought. I was amazed. Likely not at all introverts.

Social networking sites were created to make money, not to improve our lives or enable us to live out our possible deep fantasies to be on stage. Most of these websites collect data about their members for the purpose of attracting advertisers. I couldn't help but wonder as I looked at this – now that they have set up their lunch meeting, how many ads will they each see from restaurants? What about coupons? Did anyone else need to be privy to that planning?

To stop yourself from the potato chip addiction consider a few ideas:
1) First, set your intentions for being online networking,
2) Find out where people who would help you meet those intentions also hangout,
3) Make an appointment with yourself to be there – just like an in-person appointment give it a start and stop time,
4) Connect and engage! Meet, talk, and know that others are watching so keep your conversation as meaningful for all as possible.

I'm most interested to know what your thoughts are about wanting more or less connection.

How much online social networking is too much for you?

How do you know when your connection has crossed over to social online networking addiction, or social attention distraction?

What is the point that you will want more connection with someone and pick up the telephone or Skype?

Social Attention Distraction: Introverts Do You Want More or Less Connection? is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

As an introvert who finds online social networking a less intimidating way to connect, I am still likely more cautious with connections than an extrovert. In Twitter twords, "follow" these cautions which  actually translate across almost any social network that you might have interest. You followed me first, and here were go:

You follow me first; much appreciated. I don't usually go on a search for connections. So, with your following me, I click on your profile in hopes of finding out about you. I like to know something about the people who are following me. But wow! The only thing in your profile is your name. OK. Let me look further.

You have that sad little egg shaped avatar as your photo. A local networking event would have given me at least a face. As an introvert in business I recognize that some people may be a bit hesitant to put their photo in a public place. I accept that as possibly your reason. I also know that some people might be challenged with images online, so I dig a bit further.

I don't see a link to any website or blog. No links, anywhere. Now, all I have is a name to go on. Not even a face to match with it! Maybe real conversations aren't what you want? But, could you at least say why you are showing up online? Persistent to know about who followed me I move on.

There is a link! With excitement about reading about what you do, what your interests are, maybe learning a bit from a blog post, I click on a url shortened link in your profile. Aw geez. Give me a break. You're taking me to a tacky sales page and I don't even know you! I chalk it up to inexperience and look further.

Your update, tweet, status - is blank! You extended your handshake and now I've got a limpest of holds on me. I don't know what you look like, I can't learn a thing about you, you want to sell me something. I'm still dogged. I search for you on other networks. It's more of the same. LinkedIn has no information; FaceBook wall is closed to me. Sigh.

Your updates, tweet, status - a string of all the same message. What is that about? What are you here for and why on earth do you want to connect with me? I'm suspect and stymied. It's not likely we're here for similar reasons so, it's time to delete your invitation and move on.

This process takes just a couple of minutes; not long for an investment to meet something new. It's possible extroverts have some of my same criteria but I find as an introvert, I'm networking online and in-person more for the relationship building. Numbers are the least of my goal.

What online clues or cues do you have for deciding whether to follow or not to follow, to like or not to like, to connect or not to connect?

You Might Be an Introvert If You Do This When You Get Followed, Liked, or Connected With First is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

With 51.9% of the population being introverts, and more countries outside the USA having a more introvert climate,  style in the way you present yourself, online, with FaceBook, or even elsewhere is more attractive.

If you are an introvert and this doesn’t resonate with you, PLEASE, let me know. Maybe all my years of assessing as an INTJ is indeed suspect.

Ten Turn Ons and Turn Offs for Introverts Who LIKE on FaceBook is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

• Getting clear.
• Be grateful everyday.
• Have business plan.
• Here are THE steps.
• Brand yourself.
• And advice goes on and on.

Many of these words of advice are valuable. That's not my point. It's just that - it is all about the same.

What occurs to me, is who has that much to say that you haven't heard before? Isn't it more that you may not be acting on what you know to do?

If we know many of these pearls, do we procrastinate? Are we overwhelmed? Is it something else? I'm not sure if it's just an introvert thing or not. Here is a bit of how it's affecting my brain:

It clouds my thinking.
With my life experiences, I believe I've already heard and seen much the same hundreds of times, it's more likely I just skim the information. Then in my introvert mind, I turn a question around until it makes me dizzy; "Did I miss THE key?" "What new pearl did I maybe miss? I get so frantic at times to get to the nitty gritty, most of what I am reading doesn't penetrate my thinking. What sticks is, I've heard THIS before. If there was anything new it was looking at me like a polar bear at the North Pole.

I end up wasting time.
The cycle begins. I believe I missed something critical. I go back and reread. There is something important – I am reminded about. It's not new news, but a reminder. Then decision-making gets a kick-start. I wonder, "When I did this in the past was it helpful?" or "If I do this now, how much time do I give it?" Like with Twitter. Do I follow everyone who follows me? Or do I do what I can to whittle down the numbers? After all, quantity doesn't in the end tickle my introvert fancy. I hear the clock ticking.

I can't always sleep peacefully.
Usually I fall right asleep. But besides our electronic overuse now texting us into overwhelm (I don't text anyway) now more than even I take more mind chatter to bed of what came across in my emails, what someone comment on FaceBook and more. In particular I count these sheep, "Was Guru A's ideas" as alike as buttons on a shirt to Guru B's ideas?" And, "How am I going to get this all done?" Zzz. Sort it out tomorrow and when I can think more clearly.

What's droning on and on for you? Or is there some cackling that you hear?

With what seems to be a growing online addiction to "the success factor", how is it affecting you?

Is the Online Chatter Clanking or Starting to Drone on For You? is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

1. Jonathan http://twitter.com/sharpendtrain is from Sheffield, England. I like that he is a straightshooter talker! And since we have actually had a real face-to-face, via Skype, I can say he tells the truth.
2. Terilyn J Goins http://twitter.com/theworddr is someone my husband introduced me to through his local networking! We've hit things off to a wonderfully growing collaborative relationship. She's an introvert like me!
3. Louise DiSclafani http://twitter.com/louise_di is someone I met on speed networking on the telephone, networking website, BlitzTime. She's quite interested in collaborating so connect with her if you believe in collaborating for increased business growth.
4. Tyrone Turner http://twitter.com/tyroneturner is one of those serial-preneurs. He has both corporate and home-based business success.
5. Judielise http://twitter.com/judielise Judie is one of the first people I met on Twitter and we had a quick connection. Yep; another introvert. She is a disability advocate and just moved from the great state of Maryland to the wonderful state of North Carolina.
6. Alan Davidson http://twitter.com/AlanDavidson introduced me to the Barefoot Doctor who I learned basics of Tao from.
7. Your Chess Coach http://twitter.com/YourChessCoach uses her chess savvy to teach kids the game through ecourses and ebooks.
8. Sandra De Freitas, http://twitter.com/TechCoach just completed a blog post series, Resuscitate Your Blog, and is a new iPad user.
9. John Assaraf http://twitter.com/johnassaraf Remember The Secret? John was in that movie. He talks quantum physics which matches up beautifully with spirituality.
10. Cathy Stucker - http://twitter.com/CathyStucker I can't recall how I met Cathy but I do know, if you blog, or want guest bloggers, this is the lady to connect with. She has a free service where you get emails once or twice a day, Monday through Friday, with bloggers looking for expert sources, requests for guest posts, bloggers and web masters offering guest posts, and more.

Who are your Top Ten Follow Friday on Twitter, LinkedIn or even FaceBook?

Can you tell me something about them? Something that might make me want to follow them?

Top Ten FridayFollow More and More Recommendations is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

1. Bob Burg at http://twitter.com/bobburg is the ultimate Go-Giver. And yes, he really authored the book of the same name, with John David Mann.
2. Mike Sachleben is one of the co-founders of BlitzTime (affiliate link) and makes it possible to take networking online to it's next logical level - talking one to one on the telephone!
3. Derrick Hayes http://twitter.com/encouragement4u is the creator of Derricknyms. He turns your name turned into a positive message. Connect with him for certain.
4. Carol Look http://twitter.com/CarolLookEFT will inspire you to use EFT with the Law of Attraction to manifest results as quickly as you want.
5. Beth Bridges http://twitter.com/ClovisChamber is the person at Clovis Chamber to help you make your networking work for you and your business.
6. Nikki Cates Hayes http://twitter.com/ManageURLife is the empowerment authority for women.
7. The WOW Network Alliance at http://twitter.com/WOW_Network s a member based resource for women entrepreneurs, 9 to 5 career professionals, and direct sales marketers.
8. Susan Bender Phelps at http://twitter.com/OdysseyMentor and I met on BlitzTime. She was a guest speaker for me and got rave reviews. Now she and I are accountability partners as we each move our business to a next level.
9. Michael Brown's main social media hangout is LinkedIn at http://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelbrown76. This connection speaks to a small world - he lives just 40 minutes from me! He is an associate with Booz Allen Hamilton.
10. When Daniel Stoica wraps up tax season he gets darn serious about online networking. He is at http://twitter.com/DanielStoicaTax and gives some wonderful accounting tips.

Who's in your Top Ten?

Top Ten FollowFriday Recommendations of Social Media is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

1. Bill and Cindy Cloughly own SmellyCat Productions http://twitter.com/smellycatprod The name alone hopefully makes you want to get to know them!
2. Cecil McIntosh http://twitter.com/stressless. I met Cecil on Twitter early on and was inspired by his variety of quotes. He offers a free eBook around his specialty of stress.
3. Jeff D'Urso http://twitter.com/jeffdurso Jeff is one of the founders of the fabulously different, speed networking on the telephone, networking website, BlitzTime. If you want a place to have 1-2-1 conversations without leaving home, give it a try.
4. Mercedes Warrick http://twitter.com/MercedesWarrick has a unique approach to meditation which focuses on a specific breathing process. Plus she's just darn fun to talk with.
5. Chicos! http://twitter.com/LoveChicos This is one of the few celebrities if you want to think of it that way, that this introvert can relate to because I just love some of their clothes. Plus, they have a great preferred customer discount program.
6. Lisa Garr's http://twitter.com/TheAwareShow The Aware Show has a wonderful programming of healing type speakers. I follow her to know what free interviews are coming up and attend just who I want to hear.
7. Amy Palmer; anyone who invites me to be on their telesummit deserve the Top Ten FollowFriday mention! LOL. She http://twitter.com/FearBustinSales focuses on general sales reluctance.
8. Stephen Russell, http://twitter.com/BarefootDoctor aka, The Barefoot Doctor, has an incredible online program with audio and video to study Tao. Very empowering.
9. Flyn Penoyer is the Consummate Go-Giver Networker! http://twitter.com/FlynPenoyer His expertise is LinkedIn and he has wonderful training both fee and free.
10. John David Mann - http://www.facebook.com/johndavidmann mostly hangs out at FaceBook. He is an incredibly gifted author, entrepreneur and another Go-Giver. I met John through my next FollowFriday recommendation.
11. Oh wait just a minute! Hang on here. That would make for Top 11, so can you wait a week? I hope so.

Who are your Top Ten Follow Friday on Twitter, LinkedIn or even FaceBook?

Can you tell me something about them? Something that might make me want to follow them?

Top Ten FollowFriday on Friday, Again is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Any one of my recommendations will provide you inspiration, laughs, intelligent conversation, fun, and they will add more fulfillment to your life.

That's it for last week - yes; last week. And this week, aiming for Friday to be another Top Ten FollowFriday Twitter Recommendations.

Who are yours? Can you talk about them on a blog post?

Top Ten FollowFriday Twitter Recommendations on Monday! is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Using Twitter as an example, and with Twitterminolgy, draw your own comparisons from how those social networking for the long haul, the commitment, evaluate tell tale actions:

You are a twatcher. You’re a new tweeple who lurks, like people do in online forums. In person at networking or social events, you may hang around the edges for a while and observe. Many tweeple, including me, have a sense for the twatcher: a twatcher joins and may be at Twitter for a while. They add followers but instead of tweeting, they prefer to sit back and watch the tweetstream. They may not have a description, or a link to a website or blog and their photo is that ugly, default avatar.

You are a twistener. This could be a new twitterer or tweeple who could have joined anytime. They have followers and are following others. They contribute little of themselves to the conversation however since their conversation either includes a reply or a RT, it’s a tell tale sign they prefer to listen. And that's okay.

You are a twurker. My Twitter friend, Kim Murphy, on Twitter, @Kmacopy defines twurkers as tweeple who just have a preference to lurk. There may not even be evidence of watching – minimal adding of followers and just the fewest tweets. Many people start at this level and either transform to a full fledge tweeple or become a tweakling.

You are a tweakling. There are been at least two research reports, one from a Harvard Business School professor, and another from the research firm Nielsen, with findings that many people join Twitter and are gone within a month or so. Twitter takes more time than a month, a plan and a thoughtful approach to find your place, get followers, be following the tweeples you want and begin real relationships.

If you are new to Twitter something to remember is that when you start following people are evaluating you in the first few seconds to make a decision about following you or not. If you find yourself on any social networking website you want to have a plan, put it into action and adjust if your intentions aren't met.

There is a good deal out there but my friend Kathy and myself are pretty sure, our Twitterspeak is unique. What Twitterspeak have you come up with?

Social Networking – More Twitterspeak Fun is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Getting started on social media can often be deceptively simple – What’s the big deal? You sign up. – or intimidating – Why am I being asked for my date of birth? – or overwhelming – How do I find people to friend or follow?

The truth is that this is a world of official and unofficial rules. It is easier if you start out knowing what’s what, and this is probably especially important if you’re more of an introvert.

Let’s imagine you already use email, search for information on Google, and read blog posts. But you’ve never joined any social media sites. How do you start?

1. Decide how comfortable you are sharing information about yourself. And the corollary to this – how wide a sharing of this information are you willing to do.

If you’re a book author and want people to buy your book, it’s a good idea to decide that you will share personal (although not private) information to as wide an audience as possible. If you only want to connect online with former high school friends, your target audience is much smaller.

If sharing information as an introvert makes you somewhat nervous, think about what it means to be personal as opposed to private. Personal is a good marketing book you just read that you can recommend to help others; private is a fight you had with your business partner over implementing the marketing steps recommended in the book.

2. Ask online savvy friends which popular site they would recommend you start with based on your goal. (And do start with just one while getting your feet wet in this brave new world.)

• If your goal, for example, is to have a wide audience, then Twitter may be the best choice because of its “open to everyone” format.

• If you only want to search for high school friends, then Facebook may be the best choice as you can confine your information to a very small circle and can search by name for those long-long friends.

• If you want to make connections to help with a future job search, then LinkedIn, whose format is set up for such a process, may be the best choice for you.

3. Once you have chosen the site you’ll start on, do a Google search for information on effectively using that site. That’s right, before you ever sign up, read some blog posts that provide guidance on effectively using the site.

Now this isn’t a research project that serves as an excuse for postponing actually joining the site. Just learn a few of the basic “rules.” And if you do this step, you’ll be way ahead of most other people who start on social media without first doing any research. Thus in this case being an introvert can give you a leg up.

And why not learn this on the site itself? Because most of these sites have inadequate information for newcomers or an abundance of information that overwhelms newcomers.

Plus, to encourage you to sign up, the site’s home page says something like: To join now just do this. And it’s only after you’ve provided your name, email, password, etc. that you’re left wondering “What do I do next?”

4. If you’re starting on a site that doesn’t require your real name, choose a username carefully. You want to think about seeing this name used all across cyberspace as lots of social media sites pull information from other social media sites (with your permission, of course).

You may initially think, for example, of choosing the name of your first book. But what happens when you write a second book? Or perhaps using the name of the book won’t work well for a site that is focused on a non-book arena.

Remember that what you do on the internet theoretically lives forever. So this choice of a username should be considered carefully and for continued use in the long-run. (Once you’ve established a good online reputation with one username you don’t want to start at square one again with a new username.)

5. Immediately post a photo of yourself – a headshot in which sunglasses and a baseball cap are not blocking people from totally seeing your eyes. (This does not have to be professional-photographer quality but should not be blurry.)

This photo should be one that will also work on social media sites you will join in the future because you want consistency across these sites. You want consistency to help people recognize and connect with you on more than one site. (The same for your username.)

Keep in mind that the photos for Twitter are quite small. (Check out my photo at http://twitter.com/ZimblerMiller if you want an example.) And even if you’re starting on Facebook, only include a headshot of yourself. Do not include other people and preferably not animals and other props.

By posting a good headshot of yourself you’re signaling that you’re interested in connecting with people – real people such as yourself whether introverted or not – and you’ll be off to a good start on your first social media site.

Now that you’ve read these five tips for starting on your first social media site, what are you waiting for? Join the cyberspace social media community today.

Phyllis Zimbler Miller is a National Internet Business Examiner at InternetBizBlogger.com and the head of the internet marketing company MillerMosaicLLC.com. On July1st the company is launching the monthly Miller Mosaic Internet Marketing Program.

Social Networking – 5 Tips for Joining Your First Social Media Site Such as Twitter, Facebook or LinkedIn is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer