Image by The Shed1 via Flickr

Since I've been decluttering – or clearing clutter – I've been taking notice. Feeling better. More focused. Losing pounds - thank goodness.

First, I have this overall feeling of being freer. Lighter. Moving forward. The weirdest thing is that this is the first time in a long time that I haven't set an end destination yet. I'm actually enjoying the maze like direction. I'm not sure what has taken me so long but I can say the coaching program I am in is a motivating factor.

What about those shedding pounds? Even though I'm in excellent shape I want to lose just 15 pounds. Somehow, with little change, I lost 5 pounds in 3 weeks. The weight is shedding off me, but I have no clue how. I'm eating as normal. Aaahhh! I did restart my exercise routine. I love exercising anyway, but with a broken foot early in the year, and then a torn knee ligament just a couple of months ago, things got – cluttered! Now I feel it's even easier to maintain my exercise program.

A second thing is I have noticed is that I am more focused, if that can happen to an introvert! I am only focused on 3 goals. Most days, I stay true to actions that move each one of those forward. The 90 Day Challenge program helps me to do that. If you visit this page, https://ultimategame.infusionsoft.com/go/TUG2/patweber/  you'll get access to a free video series in the event you want to find out more about it when it starts up next.

Finally for now, I find I am able to fit so much more into my days without exhausting myself. I'm not exactly how that is happening but it is. Now I don't mean there are always more actions I take; the actions I take are simply more efficient and effective. By sheer coincidence, the coaching program I am in for this new game encourages us NOT to work on Saturday and Sunday. And except for this ezine to you, which is back to my intended short doses of insights, work is not on my schedule.

There you have the first 3 benefits that clearing clutter has done for me so far:

1) more active with things that once on the backburner list,

2) losing weight,

3) more effective everyday.

How do you suppose clearing clutter helps you to lose weight?

Has this ever happened to you?

Clearing clutter helps to shed pounds? is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Getting more organized has been energizing for this introvert! I've always liked the metaphor that clutter is to our lives like cholesterol is to our bodies: it clogs us up! Starting with our kitchen counter tops put my husband in high spirits – he's a neat, obsessive, extrovert, Virgo around clutter. His desktop and drawers are always neat. One week after my cleaning up, he was still checking in on my office and saying how much he likes it. But one month after my initial clutter cleaning, I am still staying organized. Maybe it's here to stay.

Every night before-clutter-clearing, I would leave my office with my desktop looking like the photo here - or worst. And because I have a bookcase, a credenza, a filing cabinet, and two small shelving units and yes, it also meant that every one of those surface tops in my office was in disarray.

Getting organized and leaving some empty space has proved to be quite a positive experience.

Can I offer a few findings that might, as one of my subscribers who emailed me said, give you that kick in the butt for your cleaning? Or maybe even give you a chuckle?

1-    Get rid of anything that you haven’t used in a year, maybe even six months. I don't need to keep overhead transparencies that I stopped using about 10 years ago, and when it's likely overhead projectors aren't even made anymore. NOTE: I subsequently learned it's also a good idea to ask people if they have a need for anything in good shape you are tossing that you believe to be outdated. Some private schools actually do still use overheads and need transparencies.
2-    Use the technology you have. Is there any reason to keep a printed copy of the workshop participant materials when I already have them on my computer? It's useful to scan relevant documents onto your computer – tax forms for example – if you know you do have to save them for a period of time.
3-    If you feel fairly certain you can research and find it online, toss papers that you might be stacking for "read later." For me that cleared up at least one-third of a credenza drawer.
4-    Emotions are cleaner. Yep; I am still getting upset when my husband doesn't listen to me. I really believe this IS a guy/gal phenomena. It's just not as irritating. When vendors don't return calls as quickly as I expect, I'm not getting as upset. And, when things go better, I can feel my better emotions more strongly. That's so much more the place I want to be.
5-    Letting go helps you to trust yourself and others more. In particular I had lots of reports, printed emails, paper work on top of the large, flat surfaces of my desk, credenza and bookcase shelves. I find it quite encouraging and uplifting that when I finally did act to clean up, I just trust that if I need that information again, it will find me. It usually does.

My final step in my plan to clear clutter is to tackle a storage room in our garage. It's become like the often talked about "junk drawer" that some of us have, me included. But fortunately, my husband and I are both in agreement that it can wait: it's organized and there is a good amount of empty space that we are able to walk comfortably in it.

Let me know if you are getting your space more organized, what have been some of your lessons?

Or maybe you are just inspired to do so? After all, look at me now:

clutter free desktop

Introvert lessons from clutter chaos to clutter control is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

For me a take away is:

Introvert-itude©: Extroverts have their style and introverts have theirs. Plan and act on different marketing tactics that you are comfortable with allowing at least 90 days to measure results.

Marketing While Introverted by Laurie Neumann:

About fifteen years ago, my husband and I took a marriage class at our church and they had us take a Meyers-Briggs personality test. We talked about introverts and extroverts and the difference between them. We learned then, that 75% of the world is extroverted, leaving us introverts not only "feeling" like we are in the minority, but in reality, that's where we are.

Being an introvert may make marketing your business seem like climbing a mountain with your ankles tied together. In other words, IMPOSSIBLE! In fact, your business may be suffering right now because you put off marketing, which, we all know, cannot be done if we want to succeed in our business.

So, how can you handle marketing your business if you have an introvert personality? The first thing you have to realize is that marketing is not a "one size fits all" kind of thing. There are many ways to market a business, and you need to find methods that you are comfortable with and that are effective.

Marketing your business can include anything from choosing an effective name for your business to writing articles to speaking to groups of people (with lots in between.) You need to determine what your strengths are and incorporate them into your marketing.

Having an introvert personality sometimes can make it difficult to get up in front of a group of people and speak. Other times, it gives you sweaty palms to talk one-on-one with someone new. You need to know who you are and what you can do comfortably, as these are the activities that will be effective for you. If you are extremely nervous when you get up to address a room full of people, you will most likely not come across confidently. And people buy from people that are confident in what they have to offer.

I was so relieved when I realized that I didn't have to fit into the mold of standard marketing, as I thought it to be - being pushy or talking to everyone I meet about my business. I found there were ways to market that I actually enjoy! And I have discovered some things that have really boosted my business and sales. One of the most effective methods I use is done without ever leaving my computer!

What about you? Do you like marketing? If not, how can you change the strategies you use so that you will like it and find it effective? You owe it to your business!

Sign up for Laurie's twelve week marketing course at http://www.christianhomebusinessconnection.com/home-business-marketing.html

The 75% of the population being extroverts are older statistics. The Center for Applications of Psychological Type (CAPT), MBTI researchers, most recent study in 1998 showed introverts are – 51% of the population. Today though, with the internet, introverts have a decided advantage because it's more - our style!

What do you think about Laurie's comments?

Introvert-itudes©: Marketing doesn’t have to be one size fits all is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Open to receiving with gratitude

I wasn’t ready mentally and emotionally to meet with a potential local collaboration partner the other day. My mind and emotions were still on a holiday of ease and work focus lacked the typical play feel it normally has for me. I start each day with being grateful for a few things as well as an intention. As I moved through this particular morning, I stayed focused on my positive intention in all that I did. No demands and no expectations.

In the back of my mind I wanted to give attention to this potential partner yet didn’t have my heart in it for the timing. It was a mixed recipe that lacked a key ingredient: my heart. Shortly, the potential partner text messaged me to ask for a postponement of our meeting.

More of my heart went into my intention to flow easily and effortlessly through the day with all actions. That’s the energy that helps me receive something I want – in this example, a reprieve to a better time for the meeting.

My exuberant expression of gratitude for the gift of postponement was now in a mental note for myself to include this happenstance in my evening gratitude list.

St Francis of Assisi tells us that It is in giving that we receive; but it is also true that it in receiving we give. By receiving a gift of postponement, an expression of gratitude to a person apologizing for the requested change, was no doubt accepted with relief and more gratitude by both.

Gratitude puts us in harmony for the giving, just the other side of receiving. Receiving puts us in the perfect place to express gratitude.

If you can accept stepping into the flow from either side, you’ll move from the little to the larger ways with ease.

Can you be open to begin the flow – giving and receiving – from either side of the equation with caring, loving and appreciating?

Are you receiving with an attitude of gratitude? is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Nancy Ancowitz's, business communication coach and author of Self-Promotion for Introverts, blog post Are Introverts Nuts? unleashed a passionate side of me and I hope it will you as well, particularly if you tend toward being an introvert. It didn't make me nuts because I'm not nuts. People call me many things but never nuts. Granted I was concerned so didn't proof much, disregarded their due date for comments and emailed the APA:

Dear APA decision makers on the proposed definition of introversion:

You stated this on your website:

Definition: Withdrawal from other people, ranging from intimate relationships to the world at large; restricted affective experience and expression; limited hedonic capacity

Social withdrawal Preference for being alone to being with others; reticence in social situations; avoidance of social contacts and activity; lack of initiation of social contact 

Social detachment Indifference to or disinterest in local and worldly affairs; disinterest in social contacts and activity; interpersonal distance; having only impersonal relations and being taciturn with others (e.g., solely goal- or task-oriented interactions) 

Intimacy avoidance Disinterest in and avoidance of close relationships, interpersonal attachments, and intimate sexual relationships 

Restricted affectivity Lack of emotional experience and display; emotional reactions, when evident, are shallow and transitory; unemotional, even in normally emotionally arousing situations 

Anhedonia Lack of enjoyment from, engagement in, or energy for life’s experiences; deficit in the capacity to feel pleasure or take interest in things 

What on EARTH are you making introversion a mental disorder for? Have you read the same research I have read? Have you talked with noted authorities about introverts, including myself?

This from http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/self-promotion-introverts/201004/are-introverts-nuts :

Laurie Helgoe, Ph.D. , clinical psychologist and author of Introvert Power about this: “If an introvert is clinically depressed,” she says, “that’s a problem.” She adds, “If an introvert is debilitated by anxiety , that is a problem. If an introvert suffers from a social phobia , that is a problem. But if an introvert is simply an introvert, please don't render that person ill. We are talking half the population here!”

Your premise is going to strengthen the negative myths about introverts everywhere.

I’m attaching my eBook, some places which quote research. This is a product I sell so I know you will respect that when you read it and not distribute it at well.

We are NOT SOCIALLY withdrawn. We must take time to recharge and reenergize. We’re not anti-social we just don’t do it the same way extroverts do.

We are NOT SOCIALLY DETACHED. We are out in the world networking for business and life. We are hosting small, intimate dinner parties.

My goodness we are the ones who VALUE PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS deeply. We take our relationships seriously.

We have DEPTH OF EMOTIONS.

We love LIFE.

Please do not set us back yet again with such a negative description which is in NO way true. Please do not undo the advances take my this group of people and more.

Revisit your definition.

Then I felt compelled to let them know there are dozens of us active in the world in the past few years strengthening the introvert image. Here is a list of some of us from a blog post I did in 2009:

1. Adam McHugh, Introverts in the Church , I did a thorough book review of it. Most of the book encourages the introvert to use their unique personality and gifts in any area of the church community. His first hand experiences; the detailed analysis of the introvert personality and his personal understandings honor and respect introverts everywhere.

2. Joanne Julius Hunold, blogs about Overwhelming Success for Solopreneurs, Wisdom and inspiration for the overwhelmed, frazzled-but-determined solo-entrepreneur (who just happens to be introverted).

3. Doris Helge, Ph.D., and I collaborated on two separate ebooks. Hers is Joy on the Job for Introverts & Shy People. She offers an accompanying free report, 11 Habits of Highly Confident Introverts & Previously Shy People!

4. R.L. LaFevers and Mary Hershey otherwise known as The Shrinking Violets, blog at http://shrinkingvioletpromotions.blogspot.com/ with a focus on marketing tips and survival strategies for introverts.

5. Wendy Gelberg, The Successful Introvert: How to Enhance Your Job Search and Advance Your Career. That about sums this one up.

6. Nancy Ancowitz, Author of Self-Promotion for Introverts : The Quiet Guide to Getting Ahead. Nancy Ancowitz is also an introvert and a business communication coach. Even though you can find an excerpt of her book, she does offer an amusing video.

7. Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, Ph.D., The Introverted Leader: Building on Your Quiet Strength. If you are thinking that because you are an introvert that you can’t be a leader, this one will change your mind forever.

8. Lee Ann Lambert, Living Introverted : Learning To Embrace The Quiet Life Without Guilt. This is a quick read, covers a broad amount of topics like the introvert at work, at home, as children, in marketing.

9. Christie has a blog at The Introvert Zone. I’m not sure why we don’t know her last name, unless it’s an extreme introversion part of her at work. The posts are always thoughtful and informative.

10. And the one I can tell you the most about is by Patricia Weber, yep that’s me, Debunking Negative Introvert Myths : Bringing Your Strengths to the Party! It’s a 92 page ebook, comes with lots of bonuses (who doesn’t like something else with their purchase and will help you let go of the introvert misconceptions by being just who you are. You can claim a 32 page excerpt of it now.

If you can, if you will, if you value your introversion, disagree with their definition or just want to weigh in on their proposal, visit the American Psychiatric Association and then email them: apa@psych.org or Tweet them, http://twitter.com/dsm5 your thoughts or opinion.

Will you do this for yourself? Will you do this for introverts everywhere?

But just who wants to tell the successful Dr. Misner that he suffers from, and I quote from the APA about their definition of introversion: "Anhedonia - Lack of enjoyment from, engagement in, or energy for life’s experiences; deficit in the capacity to feel pleasure or take interest in things." Guess that creates a conundrum for BNI? LOL!

If Introversion is a mental disorder, don’t tell Dr. Ivan Misner is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

1. We don’t have to suffer from being a doormat. Some of us don’t even recognize we do.
2. Identify your strengths, put them into action and surprise yourself with the outcome.
3. Even extroverts have a certain amount of dysfunction.
4. Some extroverts are beyond therapy but they continue to sing out of tune.
5. Let go of the fights with yourself with questions like: “Does my introvert butt look big in this event?”
6. Introverts are like icebergs: you see on the surface a small amount of the full person. Nur Zafrena recently tweeted this and it fits perfectly!
7. As a woman introvert, if you are ever called a bitch, to your face or behind your back, you’ve just been complimented as being assertive.
8. I think introverts, like dogs, can learn enough people skills to get along.
9. Introverts are social. It’s just that most of the time, “One is company and two is a crowd.”
10. Don’t accept that the word dysfunctional relates to who you are as more introverted. It’s really someone else’s lack of understanding.

It’s time for us to transform how we think of ourselves as being different. We are for goodness sake! But it can be easier if we lighten up, accept who we are as we are and then go with the global dysfunctionality.

What can you say to help us lighten about ourselves? And thank you my friend Margie Basarabaof CheckItOutTravel for the title - great fun.

Top Ten Introvert Ways To Put The Fun Back In Dysfunctional is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Even the best bred have challenges. My husband and I had the pleasure, and honor, of showing our 1933 Packard in Louisville, Kentucky. There at Colonial Downs we learned a little history about the Triple Crown history. It is a tremendous challenge for the horses to get there:

Only America’s best three-year-old thoroughbreds, as well as outstanding horses from other nations, make it there.

All three races that make the winners are run within five weeks, a grueling schedule for the horses.

And three races are of varying distances: 1¼ mile; 1 3/16; and 1½ mile.

How incredible is that winning horse? If as an introvert you want 2010 to be a year of success, or being noticed for your creativity or for being taken seriously, while it may be a challenge, it is still possible. Maybe it won't be in the speed of a Kentucky Derby race, less than two minutes, but it could be your year to win.

Other people's words. In 1949, trainer Ben A. Jones said that Ponder was about as good a contender to win in a Kentucky Derby as a Shetland pony. But Contender won! Well okay, not the triple crown but remember, to get to the Triple Crown was a strength in itself. Thank goodness Ponder knew where the winning came from. Not outside of him. Ponder's wins came from within. Introverts, usually in our head, can leverage that talk into winning action. Begin to believe your confidence in yourself more than other people's misguided words. If you can't find it inside on your own, get a coach or a mentor. It's there; it really is.

Ponder was a closer. Horses that are closers run races from behind. It seems that for years the introvert has been misunderstood. Usually we have to come in from behind. But when it matters, we're the leaders and we're the idea people who can be counted on.

And then, in a number of traditions that play a large role in the Derby atmosphere, here's one to aim.

The infield, a spectator area inside the track, isn't for the introvert. So what if the infield is relatively inexpensive and attracts tens of thousands of people. What introvert wants that kind of a crowd? We might be "innie" people but following the lead from this Derby tradition, we're going to want to go where fewer people go. "Millionaire's Row", the area with the expensive box seats. That's what to aim for to get a sense of the party with a smaller group.

We may have to may the price - let go of the introvert myths, get out of our head and move into action. We may need to learn to not listen to others and instead take that quiet time of reflection and begin to listen to what we know. Are we ready to come up from behind? We have to be - the world needs us.

What do you think? What kind of lessons can you learn from Ponder?

Introvert Lessons from Kentucky Derby Champion Ponder is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

He sometimes refers to the cloud that surrounds him with pride as the dust of ancient civilizations. In the last strip that Pig-Pen appeared in he was uncharacteristically embarrassed and ashamed of his dirtiness, forgetting his tie to those - ancient civilizations. In everyday situations we want to remember our strengths and focus on them. Remember what they are: focus, listening, original thinking, depth. Gee. Doesn’t it sound like this are needed in our world now? Our strengths can carry us up and over anything we might judge as a shortcoming. Our strengths, like the dust of ancient civilizations, can be a positive force in our lives.

"Pig-Pen" is very good at playing the drums, as shown in the special Play it Again, Charlie Brown. What are you good at? While certainly not perfect, with our depth of thinking we can take it all in, cut through other’s BS and read people pretty well. How would that play out as an energy saver for us? Our strengths, acknowledged and applied, give us that energy we need. We are all good at some things that others are not. When we can remain true to our inner self and play up to our strengths then someone may just ask us to “Play It Again.” We can decide at that time if we want to.

Violet: Pig-Pen, you're an absolute disgrace! All that dirt and dust... you could be a germ carrier. Did you ever stop to think of that? Pig-Pen: So what if I am? Even germs get tired of walking now and then! Anyone can get tired every now and then of others asking them to be something they are not. Yes, when the tiredness wears down your otherwise natural contemplative defenses and you find yourself giving in to thinking you need to act like an extrovert, stop. Be yourself. Ask yourself, how and where will I draw that energy from? Then act on it.

Decide to step away from emotionally identifying with those internal, external and shared beliefs that keep you from living your dreams, your purpose and being yourself. Heck, everyone has some. You know the ones that hold us back? That ones that make you think you are shy, aloof, anti-social and the list goes on. Learn from Pig-Pen who decided that the clouds of dust surrounding him were there to serve him in a positive way. The clouds can easily dissipate if or when you need them to.

Charlie Brown would say, “Good grief!” What would you say?

Another Introvert Lesson from Charlie Brown’s Friend Pig-Pen is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Much of my work with people in career transition is evaluating strengths. Sometimes, people have been working for twenty years and haven't had to step back and ask themselves -- is this right for me? Am I on the right path? There's nothing like being out of work to give you the time, space and motivation to ask these questions.

So I work with them on evaluating the right fit for their needs. We talk about where they've had success, where they've struggled, what they love and what they never, ever want to do again. And we come back to the question of strengths -- what are your natural gifts that make you unique, and uniquely marketable? How have those strengths supported your success in the past? How can we harness these strengths moving forward?

From there we look at job paths that make sense with someone's specific skill set and strengths. It's at this point that people let slip the "I" word.

"What do you think about sales?" I might suggest. They get quiet. "Well..." A pause. "I'm not sure that I'd want to work with people that much. I think that I might be... some kind of introvert or something."

And I try not to laugh.

It's easy for me to help people embrace introversion as a strength rather than the weakness that most people seem to take it as. I'm an introvert myself.

Growing up I was pretty painfully shy. I disliked attention. I kept to myself, and my studies.

I was branded a "nerd," and somewhat socially isolated because I found sleepover parties to be an unfathomably tiring endeavor.

Around high school, I decided to force myself to be something else. I became involved in theater, convinced that by placing myself in front of people on an ongoing basis, that it would help me overcome my "shyness."

And to a certain extent, it worked. I developed the ability to get up in front of people confidently. But I still found that afterwards, while the rest of the cast was charged up, I was wiped out.

Now, I do extensive public speaking, which is hugely effective for my business. But I've learned some tactics to help me be more effective in public, face-to-face situations -- tactics I share with my clients.

1. Know your land mines. Watch yourself for energy drain, and pay attention to where it's coming from. You may find that you do well with a high level of face time for up to two hours, but after that your effectiveness decreases. Or you may be okay in person but have a harder time over the phone. By watching which situations are most draining for you, you can better plan your work to take advantage of your strengths.

2. Understand the value of the activity. It's easier to motivate yourself out of your comfort zone if you have a clear understanding of the end goal. Conversations are crucial to closing deals. If you want to make money, you have to understand the role that new relationships play in that process.

3. Don't try to do it how other people do it. People who are extroverts are not good models for how to be successful yourself in developing profitable business relationships. While they may be able to spend an entire day on the phone, or moving from meeting to coffee date to networking event, that kind of schedule may be unsustainable for someone who doesn't enjoy that kid of activity. Learn from their successes, but apply what you learn to your own style and personality.

Here's the great part: being a natural introvert gives you an edge on extroverts when dealing with certain personality types, or in situations that require more in-depth discussion or analysis, and in managing your own time and efforts. Your other strengths can give you the advantage.

I've come to understand that excellence comes from embracing who you are, not who others think you should be. How can you make the most of your unique gifts?

Kristi Daeda is a career coach, blogger and personal marketing strategist helping professionals nationwide create their own career opportunities. She is the founder of LaunchSummit, a free web-based educational event for job seekers, and blogs on job search, management, leadership, networking and more at Career Adventure.

So Kristi asked, how can you make the most of your unique gifts?

The Path To Embracing My Inner Introvert – And Yours is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Enjoying life on the water.
There were a number of years where my husband and I enjoyed traveling the Chesapeake Bay in a 43 foot trawler named Half Fast. It was perfect for my style: it would only go about 8 knots, that's about 8 miles per hour, at top speed and plenty of room for privacy even with another couple. The dilemma was, Half Fast also a party magnet. When docked at any marina with a high probability of knowing someone after about 15 years of boating, our boat became the one of choice to host the party or hook up to for the party.

Try to be an extrovert.
Early on in trawler life, without all the attention, we would host small, just four of us, quiet dinner or wine cruises. These were always satisfying as the other couple were close friends and the conversations were deep and interesting. We also would be playful and find time for games that got us engaged with charades and sketching ideas. Then Half Fast grew in attention. I became an extroverting introvert, keeping up with conversations going long into the evenings while hanging around the docks with dozens of people.

Frustration leads to disaster.
Then one weekend afternoon, out of frustration in not being able to find that quiet place with 20 or more people hanging around on the deck, I shut down conversations even with my close friends. I'd hide out in the cabin away from everyone, even at times resorting to the head. It was disastrous, prompting one very good friend to talk with my husband. She was worried about something being seriously wrong with me.

Beat the guilt.
Regardless of the social situation you find yourself in as an introvert, it's all too easy to be gripped by guilt even though, there's really no need to feel guilty. We are who we are and we must be perfect as we are being put here by God: God doesn't make mistakes. It was a long time coming but then I gradually, as the evening unfolded, let friends know, "Hey, I'm just an introvert so I've had enough for today, good night." All always prearranged with my wonderfully, wildly extroverted but understanding husband.

Be true to yourself:

- Recognize that introverts can be social but not in a marathon way.
- Understand that using your social skills is for any temporary situation or event.
- Find your way of letting people know when it's time for you to retreat.
- Appreciate what you bring to each relationship in meaningful conversation, being a listener and depth of your relationship, because your friends do appreciate you.

What situations have you experienced have the irony of being who you are in them? Did it make you feel guilty or something else? How are you better for it now?

Irony of Introvert Guilt: You Can Beat It is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer