Introvert Tip – Know What Your Gifts Are and Use Them is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Is each of the two preferences like grapes in a cluster? Andrews stated, "I find that when talking to other introverts I don’t get that “on stage” feeling I get when dealing with extroverts. Maybe it’s not that introverts find all people draining, just the extroverts." Someone, I can't remember who, said of introverts, "One is company and two is a crowd." Introversion, according to many people as well as research, is a brain specific preference and not something we choose. The preference is how we get our energy, our stamina. As an INTJ, I can be with any number of people but when it's a large crowd, I'm likely the first grape to fall off the vine. But as a business sales coach, I help my clients understand the importance for an introvert in business to be aware of that number one land mine of an energy drain and plan for it whether giving a presentation, networking or being in a meeting. Extroverts can dive into a crowd, introverts can manage the land mines. When it comes to business, neither can really leave the field so why not work with our differences?

If you enter a room dressed in red when everyone else is in black and white, what would be your chances of standing out? Rauch stated, "Extroverts are easy for introverts to understand, because extroverts spend so much of their time working out who they are in voluble, and frequently inescapable, interaction with other people." I think the same could be said of introverts in a way. Introverts spend so much time in their own heads working out who they are, that when we find ourselves in the midst of that interaction of other people, it can be about as pleasant to the ear as fingernails scratching a blackboard. The defining moment that can give an introvert the unfair advantage is if we lean into our state of natural curiosity and join the conversation, or listen to the interaction - to make sense of it. I coach my introverts clients to listen and enjoy analyzing since prospects do want to be understood; and extroverts to add to the interaction in particular with introverts, with more relevant questions than empty, unfocused, spiel talk.

"You can't fight City Hall." Introversion or extroversion is not a choice - an introvert cannot become an extrovert, an extrovert cannot become an introvert. And my guess is that until introverts begin to take a more active role in explaining the differences then each will continue to be "tormented" by the other. Both Andrews and Rauch have a dissatisfaction of this mutual misunderstanding. Even a Ferrari needs a tune-up regularly; so if we can each just keep on talking to clarify the what and why, then the torment will diminish. Sure; the extrovert will likely do more talking but with the introvert can steer the talk with their naturally curious questions. Hopefully, the extrovert will stop talking and the introvert will start listening about the same time!

There are many more differences for certain, differences where we can find a balance and a way for each preference, introversion and extroversion, to support the other.

What differences do you think are in perfect balance?

Introvert and Extrovert – Three Distinct Differences to Support Each Other is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

Don’t follow, friend or connect with people unless you want to. I realize some "gurus" tell you to connect with everyone who connects with you. The truth is, that isn't going to work long term for an introvert. Even Dunbar's Law says people in general, can't have meaningful relationships with more than about 120 people. Recall your purpose to get in social online networking and let that guide you to who and how many to follow, friend or connect. Introverts can't be like extroverts so there isn't any need trying. Just wade into things.

Don’t ignore an inner prompting. Do you find you are being overwhelmed with invitations from well-meaning, followers, friends or contacts, to join more and more networks? On it first happening to me, I went right along - looking at who invited me, checking out the network and then finding some sense of attraction, I would join. Now I find myself in networks with the founders initial excitement depleted and the connection also frayed. It's like with a quilt fraying, the energy is slowly eroding from me: the networks are there, I know it and I just let them continue to fray. Take a deep breath on every invitation before you check out each invitation. Get your center and then you'll be more in touch with you inner prompting which may be just to thank the person for the invite and not accept it.

Don't ignore the rest of your life. My online friend, Jim Sutton, added this to my original list and it gave me pause to think. "Yes; I do have a life beyond all this." See, with a business marketing mindset, sometimes every online networking opportunity smells as sweet as a rose. But then, as you get more an more invitations, have to do more and more of tweeting, and messaging and replying to emails, the rose smell becomes an odor. Remember, there is life outside, away from these attractive means of connecting.

Don’t ignore social online networking. Even with all these caveats, don't ignore what's happening online. I've been in business since 1976 and no college course prepared me for the way things would change with the initial introduction of personal computers, then the internet and now social online networking. It is a trend that is being found my some, to be both professionally and personally effective. To ignore it would be like playing chess without all the pieces. Social online networking is real and growing.

What do you think? How else can an introvert be careful, cautious and taking care of their nature while still benefiting from social networking?

Social Networking Tip – Top 4 Energy Vampires for an Introvert is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

The eyes and the brain. Your eyes use 65% of your brainpower, the most out of any body part. So then next to the brain, your eyes are the most powerful body part. This explains why introverts at a networking can unknowingly be sucked up into an energy vacuum. Have you ever noticed how many people are darting their eyes around the room? Then, as an introvert we dart around with our eyes trying to find some friendly faces or a haven to take a break. The darting of eyes, if it’s an extrovert, must mean getting fully charged: extroverts go outside of themselves for energy. Is it possible with our eyes that just taking in the surroundings and people in it, our energy goes in full throttle?

The mouth and the brain. Marti Olsen Laney's "The Introvert Advantage" cites studies that show introverts have a longer pathway in the brain to access memories or information. The extroverts brain path is shorter and accesses more sensory information. Have you ever been in a brainstorming session and find you want to “pass” on the first round of ideas? If you did, you could be an introvert and need that extra thinking time. If you are ready to open your mouth and jump in with an idea, you could be an extrovert.

The front and back of the brain. A study in 2005 stated that PET scans of introverts showed more activity in the brain frontal lobes. This is the area activated for remembering, problem solving and planning. Extroverts show more activity in the brain anterior lobes which involves in-the-moment or recent external stimulated sensory processing like hearing, watching or driving. One person responding to my online survey about sales reluctance said they have a negative stereotype about sales and salespeople -- specifically they are insincere, pushy and don't listen. If such behavior is brain related then it may be because of more access to the back of the brain. After all who would want to have people think of them as insincere, pushy and not listening?

Not being a neuroscientist some scientific data isn’t easy to understand. What the data does communicate is it is our brains to a good extent that make introverts who they are and extroverts who they are and it’s all quite a perfect balance.

What else have you found about the brain and our introvert and extrovert differences?

And if you hate to sell, or get energized by cold calling? What is your natural tendency when it comes to networking, schmoozing and sales? Take a moment to get honest with yourself when you answer this quick survey.

Introvert Tip – Top 3 Ways the Introvert and Extrovert Brains Differ is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

1. You’ve likely read that online networking gives introverts time to think before we speak, something we tend to prefer. Take that a step further, since we get time to think, we can enhance our already innate ability to make that one-to-one connection. Our networking starts with the relationship first so it’s a benefit to have that minute or two to find out “who” this person is we are replying to or before posting on the wall at Facebook.
2. It’s not necessary to jump into Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and say, MySpace all in one day. You can take in one network at a time. You can create a plan that lets you be in control of how and where you spend your time.
3. Sharing and giving is important in any kind of networking. Since you are already, as an introvert, finding information on topics easily online, when you find an article, white paper or newsworth information to shout about, let people in your network know easily where to find the same information. They’ll thank you for it.
4. Our nature of not being self-revealing is perfectly in place with social networking. On every network you control how much about yourself and to whom you want it to be known. If it weren’t highly considered as an option, it wouldn’t be an option.
5. Take advice from the owners of a popular networking site. In finding too many people violating the “please get to know me first” sales unspoken rule, I emailed that I wanted to stop my membership. They suggested before I do that, just “delete” those offenders from my network. At least the websites I am on, I can “delete” people who want to push, push, push and those people never know it.

Online, even more than in-person social networking, let’s the introvert shine through on their own. As introverts we can seize this time in social networking if we want. It leans heavily on our innate ability.

What do you think about social networking benefiting introverts? How else is it beneficial for us?

What is your natural tendency when it comes to networking, schmoozing? Do you sell and hate it? Take a moment to get honest with yourself when you answer this quick survey.

Sales Tip – 5 Social Networking Approaches that Benefit the Introvert Nature is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer

And another reason? Because our prospects, our clients, are craving for some of the natural traits we already have and can engage easily: listening, taking time to build a relationship and thinking things through.

That's why, while the post at Attention Introverts: How to Become More Extroverted has two excellent main points, I just cannot agree with "become more extroverted."

What do you think? Do you want to change?

Sales Tip – Introverts Do Not Try to Sell Like an Extrovert! is a post from: Courage Coach for the Reluctant Marketer