Articles & Tips - Professional Strategies, Inc.

When A Common Courtesy Is Uncommon

Could there be some common courtesies that are no longer so common? Is there a generational difference in the casual manner in which sales representatives and prospective customers communicate? The woman who telephones me one afternoon is generalizing that society is less respectful; and calling someone by their first name is only one indicator.

Her complaint is with what she calls the loss of finer things in relationships. She just visited a retail store. When the salesperson greets her, he asks her name. She tells him her first and last name. The salesperson speaks to her for the rest of the conversation using her first name. This is unsettling to her.Although she is 58 years old, others who are younger share her opinion about this informal approach. She's tested her feelings with friends and relatives. Her thought is that this first name approach, before there is a relationship, is assumptive of trust and familiarity. And she doesn't like it. At times she decides not to do business with the person who acts as if they have known her for years, when their introduction was only 10 seconds ago. For others either this may not matter, or the person is willing to put up with it.

Maybe because you are in sales, you think that all those formalities aren't necessary. After all, the person is now your company's customer, right? They already established a degree of rapport and trust with someone in sales. First, each contact with a new person means building rapport and trust again. And, you do not necessarily know that the relationship between sales and the customer is as comforting as the customer thinks it could be.

It's important to be sensitive to each customer and what they want to be called. You can ask the customer how they prefer you to call them, by their first name or last. Simply ask this starting with a more formal tone, "So Mr. McDonald, do you prefer that or may I call you Bob?" This leaves no uncertainty in their preference and shows your respectfulness.

Or, observe any change from the first point of contact to when you decide to call them by their familiar name. If you are face to face, notice their posture, their gestures, the openness of their body language. If you are on the telephone, pay notice to their volume, rhythm and pitch. Maybe you communicate by email and notice a change in the style. If you notice a change from their initial demeanor that seems to indicate a negative state, it may mean you are being too familiar. Go back to a more formal Mr. or Ms. and do a perception check again.

Maybe your company prides itself on treating customers like family. Or maybe you know everyone by name. Certainly, remembering someone's name is a compliment. To be sure of what the customer prefers, we need to either ask, "May I call you by your first name?" or wait until we establish trust and rapport. In sales it really is the customer's need for formality or informality that counts most.